Posted by: shelliejelly | May 2, 2008

Begin the begin

I hadn’t been in love for a long time. I was at a bar with a friend of mine, watching the Cubs blow another opportunity at a run for the World Series when a man stepped up to the bar and ordered a drink. I looked up, then looked up again from my beer, pretending to watch the t.v., but looking at him sideways.

I made some remarks to my friend, speaking to both her and in the general direction of the television — an introverted attempt at flirting. I couldn’t commit to fully paying attention or showing my interest because I was too afraid he was just another guy in a bar who would pass me by for a sleeker, smaller girl. It had happened before, many times. And though my self confidence wasn’t at the ground floor, it also wasn’t hovering around the penthouse either.

If you asked the man in the picture, O., if it was he or I was who made the first move, he wouldn’t skip a beat before telling you “I did.” I would respectfully, or not, disagree, telling him and you that though my overtures were more subtle, overtures they were, nonetheless. Being flashy and outlandish has never been my style.

We spoke briefly, him getting a beer for he and his friend and me chatting quietly while also watching the baseball game unfold. He went to his table, two beers in hand, and I turned to S. with a big smile on my face. She’d known me for a long time and could tell that something about this boy was different. I felt the same way.



  1. […] so on When O. called me a few days later, he got my answering machine. Oddly enough, I was out with a boy […]

  2. […] It wasn’t too long until I knew that I was in love with O. I think we’d been seeing one another for two or three months, and I could feel in my bones […]

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